If your motivation for partnered sex or masturbation is ONLY to try and make orgasm happen, or do to something you feel like you should be doing, or should feel good, rather than arising out of a very profound HUNGER -- a strong desire and nascent want -- for sexual activity then it's not that surprising that nothing feels that good, because that arousal is key to any kind of sex feeling really good, including masturbation. If you aren't there at all for yourself, he can even masturbate himself with you talking, watching or cheering him on -- and that's something that's pretty arousing for a lot of people, too. To please someone would be a concise alternative that doesn't have sexual connotations.
I've taken advice from this site before, and I've tried masturbation on my own time, but it ends up taking me hours, and I just get frustrated. It often carries a sexual connotation, but not exclusively. If you've never used a blindfold before, check out this beginners guide to BDSM.
On the other hand if sex between you has really started to feel like it's all about him, if that's not an exciting idea for you, then nix that, too. Does an orgasm by any other name still feel as sweet?
If you're really stressed out, depressed or feeling pressured even if that pressure is just coming from you , that's going to impact your libido. It starts as a small nub located just above the opening to your vagina, but as you become aroused, it grows and drops lower and, as a result, provides a larger area of sensation that increases your ability to orgasm.